Unnameable

What made you think you had the right to do that to me. You stole a piece of me and I can never get that back. You took that piece of me when I was to young to understand what was happening. I now live in a world where I am afraid of things I shouldn’t be.  My mom didn’t even try to get me justice because she was to in love with the idea of you not the horrible man you are.  You make me not want to love because I am afraid of the things that will happen when I do.  You should be rotting in hell right now and die faster from the cancer you have but before you go rot in hell I hope you suffer like you make me.  I had to skip out on my child hood because of you, I had to skip out on so much because you FUCKED ME UP so much. I am an emotional wreck because of what did to me.  It should be a normal beautiful healthy thing but you turned that into a night mare, I shouldn’t have to feel horrible about it, I shouldn’t have to carry this with me everywhere I go, I shouldn’t be afraid of the things you made me afraid of.  I don’t know how to over come this and I have no fucking clue how to love or even get close to acutaually loving  because of you.  Ever time I see someone that looks like you I want to break down even more but I want to run over to you and beat you with a hammer till you’re dead.  I hope that when I overcome this you feel the pain I felt.

In love with you or not?

I though I was in love you you. I pass the places we used to hang out everyday and I remember all the things you said to me. I think that I’m over you and I think I really mean it until I see those things or remember something we did. How can I love him if I don’t know if I’m over you? Nothing makes sense, it’s been way to long for me to still love you because it’s been way to long for me to not love him. You broke my heart and I hate you for that, you didn’t just break my heart you broke me.

Xoxo cause I’m finally leaving you behind